Top 5 Cali Paranoia

[sidepod]

Do we need a poll for this?

1. Reverse polarity. Can/will kill you…..or not.
2. Incorrect filling/use of water tank. (Probably the real origin of COVID)
3. Getting gassed in a French service station. An old favourite.
4. Incorrect use of gas bottles. Can/will kill you……or not
5.Sleeping in the wrong bed/way round.

In fact, it’s probably not even worth considering buying one. Death traps at best.

 

[Ozzy Pete]

Do we need a poll for this?

1. Reverse polarity. Can/will kill you…..or not.
2. Incorrect filling/use of water tank. (Probably the real origin of COVID)
3. Getting gassed in a French service station. An old favourite.
4. Incorrect use of gas bottles. Can/will kill you……or not
5.Sleeping in the wrong bed/way round.

In fact, it’s probably not even worth considering buying one. Death traps at best.

This sounds reminiscent of my son in laws parents. Warning us Not to go to France as you almost certainly WILL be gassed and have immigrants clinging to the underside of your van..Oh the good old days when we could travel..

 

[Wesel]

Do we need a poll for this?

1. Reverse polarity. Can/will kill you…..or not.
2. Incorrect filling/use of water tank. (Probably the real origin of COVID)
3. Getting gassed in a French service station. An old favourite.
4. Incorrect use of gas bottles. Can/will kill you……or not
5.Sleeping in the wrong bed/way round.

In fact, it’s probably not even worth considering buying one. Death traps at best.

All babies of the Loch Ness monster

 

[OGII]

Oceanitis: The cold sweat and sleepless nights when you realise you should have bought a Beach....

 

[WelshGas]

Oceanitis: The cold sweat and sleepless nights when you realise you should have bought a Beach....

But didn't want to Downgrade.

 

[soulstyledevon]

It’s not all paranoia.
I once woke up in a Lay-by in Brugge, having been a victim of gassing.
I came round, to an emptied beer fridge & felt light headed and dizzy for most the morning…

 

[bob_summers]

Not quite Cali specific, but if buying a used van, the internet will tell you to expect the DMF to explode the moment you drive it home. Then the side window will leak, you'll be arrested for being drunk in a vehicle and you'll always regret not getting a Nugget.

 

[OGII]

But didn't want to Downgrade.

I'd forgotten that symptom. Better update the definition:

Oceanitis. Waking up in cold sweat at not having bought a Beach. Common symptoms can include cramping caused by small bed, muscle aptrophy as limited option for exercise ( such as lifting manual roof) and repetitive strain injury (especially to fingers, often due to control panel frustration or over use of pin card reader at VW dealer. Can also show signs of superiority, occasionally merited, often misplaced.

Closely linked to Beachitis ( and emerging condition, Coastitis.) Many fewer symptoms, very rarely can show signs of wardrobe or fridge envy. Easily treated by paying for removable alternatives. Beachitis may also cause smugness.

A general term, Californiaitus, can be used to describe sufferers of a tendency to use a vehicle for pleasure, often flexibly and in a unique way. Associated with frequent travel* ( * a new GC strain has side effects of impotence, caused by dealer retention issues, often for extended periods of time. Sufferers deserve care and sympathy. )

 

[two-saabs]

But didn't want to Downgrade.

Only in the UK, they're fully loaded over here!

 

[Louis II]

I always thought the bigger risk to beach owners was injuries resulting from tripping up over the fridge or kitchen pod (whilst not being able to see as the light has been obscured by window bags) and resultant fire as the precariously balanced jetboil falls off the improvised table.
All this is made more likely as they are often distracted convincing themselves that the wardrobe, fridge & kitchen in an ocean are a complete waste of space.

 

[Lambeth Cali]

By far the most dangerous thing I’ve repeatedly done in the Cali (not counting drinking from the tap) is pull out of a quiet French petrol station and drive half a mile on the wrong side of the road. We usually then see a lorry heading our way and my wife says “aren’t you on the wrong side of the road?”. I say “yep” and calmly move over.
Then there’s usually an awkward silence for a bit.

 

[WelshGas]

Only in the UK, they're fully loaded over here!

Oh, I didn’t realise they came with a compressor fridge, water tank and 2 burner stove? Funny they don’t sell that model in the U.K.

 

[two-saabs]

Oh, I didn’t realise they came with a compressor fridge, water tank and 2 burner stove? Funny they don’t sell that model in the U.K.

I was just thinking of editing my post.

They're very different vehicles, one has the space and better suited as a daily driver, and one is a better camper.

My comment is more that the UK see the Beach as the downgrade, which is not the case in mainland Europe.

I believe this UK view has partly come from VW themselves with how they market the Beach and don't allow as much customisation. So it's Beach = cloth, manual, basic... Ocean = fancy, top-end, loaded.

That's really what I meant, many countries outside of the UK the Beach can be loaded with everything you want, plus you have the space, and can add the kitchen if you want, stick it back in the garage when you don't.

But hey it's Sunday, the sun is shining, we're all very lucky to be able to enjoy these wonderful vehicles, let's have a hug

 

[two-saabs]

I always thought the bigger risk to beach owners was injuries resulting from tripping up over the fridge or kitchen pod (whilst not being able to see as the light has been obscured by window bags) and resultant fire as the precariously balanced jetboil falls off the improvised table.
All this is made more likely as they are often distracted convincing themselves that the wardrobe, fridge & kitchen in an ocean are a complete waste of space.

Yawn, 2 very different vehicles, over on Hymer forums do they say Ocean drivers dream of a toilet?

Different vehicles, different purposes

 

[WelshGas]

Yawn, 2 very different vehicles, over on Hymer forums do they say Ocean drivers dream of a toilet?

Different vehicles, different purposes

So don’t compare.

 

[Louis II]

Do we need a poll for this?

1. Reverse polarity. Can/will kill you…..or not.
2. Incorrect filling/use of water tank. (Probably the real origin of COVID)
3. Getting gassed in a French service station. An old favourite.
4. Incorrect use of gas bottles. Can/will kill you……or not
5.Sleeping in the wrong bed/way round.

In fact, it’s probably not even worth considering buying one. Death traps at best.

Don’t forget supermarket fuel

 

[Perfectos]

Legoland spare wheel drop off point !

 

[Ting Tong]

We’re all going to be stuck with polluting diesels whilst the rest of the camping fraternity are roaming freely in their electric campervans.

 

[Ozzy Pete]

It’s not all paranoia.
I once woke up in a Lay-by in Brugge, having been a victim of gassing.
I came round, to an emptied beer fridge & felt light headed and dizzy for most the morning…

Every morning my wife accuses me of gassing her. And that’s just at home .. I’m going to have to lay off the beans...

 

[Borris]

Do we need a poll for this?

1. Reverse polarity. Can/will kill you…..or not.
2. Incorrect filling/use of water tank. (Probably the real origin of COVID)
3. Getting gassed in a French service station. An old favourite.
4. Incorrect use of gas bottles. Can/will kill you……or not
5.Sleeping in the wrong bed/way round.

In fact, it’s probably not even worth considering buying one. Death traps at best.

Definitely being gassed whilst asleep. The worry keeps me awake at night.

 

[Joker 1299]

You can equally be gassed while you are asleep during the day, apparently.

 

[larrylamb]

6, Potentially crushed in your bed whilst you sleep as the electric roof jumps into action at 3am.

In the ensuing panic,

7, Locking oneself out of the Cali in your undercrackers.

 

[Ozzy Pete]

You can equally be gassed while you are asleep during the day, apparently.

They say that Johnny foreigners have got it off to a tee. Must be costing them a fortune in Nitrous oxide..

 

[Louis II]

Every morning my wife accuses me of gassing her. And that’s just at home .. I’m going to have to lay off the beans...

This is why I don’t understand the whole vegan being better for planet thing.
If I ate like a vegan I’d fart like a cow.

 

[Borris]

8. Seeing the massed supermarket bags of extra stuff your wife has managed to muster after youv'e just finished packing the van.