UPDATE.
Well I bought a Carista from Amazon for 34 quid. Paid for a years subscription to get the free trial but I'm gonna keep it going because...
I now have:
Auto locking that kicks in at about 11 MPH. I love it!
Alarm now beeps. Once for locked twice for unlocked. Now I know if I've left a door open!
Alarm one press and only drivers door opens. Press again and all doors open woohoo!
A weird feature that tells me how much fuel I can get in the tank... Odd thing but why hide it.
Disabled the open doors when ignition key is removed. (More security)
Disabled horn when key is not in ignition. (I always accidently beep when removing the steering lock bar thing)
And did a load of things with my lights.
Not sure I have a Transporter anymore, more like a Transformer, Optimus Van.
Thank you all for your help.
Added bonus: It worked on my son's Scirocco R. The Carista has opened so many functions on his car. Allsorts of custom options like braking pressure, ride, steering etc. He has changed so many things including the display screen. Why oh why are these things hidden?
I've had my van for 8 years and the changes make it seem like a new van. Yeah it's safe to assume I am a happy bunny!