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Visiting Europe: Guidance On Using A French Loo

DavidofHook

DavidofHook

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There have been questions about this so I thought that I would, as tastefully as possible, provide some instructions for newcomers to continental travel

French loos often provide a choice of both British sit down and French squat tyre loos.

This Note is guidance on using French squat type loos.

1) Do not enter the cubicle without shoes. It may look like a shower but it is not.

2) On entry you will see a small tiled floor in front of a large porcelain basin. The basin will have two raised steps for your feet and behind, a circular hole in the floor. Do not ever put your hand or any part of yourself in this hole. On the wall above will be a cistern with a rope or chain. In most French loos it is advisable to provide your own paper.

3) Make the necessary adjustment to your dress and step onto the foot steps. Ensure that you are facing the door with your back to the rear wall. Do not attempt to use with your back to the door as the results will be unsatisfactory.

4) Take the paper in your hand. Do not leave it in your pocket.

5) When squatting down do not fall over into the bowl. To avoid this some people find that it is helpful to put their hand on the wall. Ensure that it is clean before so doing. For hygiene reasons do not put your hand in the bowl for support.

6) Carry out your business which health experts believe is easier in this position (although they may never have actually used one). Aim for the round hole in the floor.

7) Do not urinate on your feet.

8) Put any used paper into the hole in the floor. Do not let it fall from a height as there is a risk that it may flutter down and adhere to your ankle or heel if in sandals.

9) On completion stand and adjust your dress. Take any unused paper home with you.

10) Step onto the tiled floor by the door.

11) To flush the toilet first unlock the door and prepare to leave. On pulling the chain, exit the cubicle smartly. Failure to do so may cause the flush water to cover your feet which is best avoided, especially if in sandals.

12) Close the door, wash your hands and leave.

13) Important note. At all times to avoid any clothing drooping into the bowl keep it bunched in your free hand. ( With acknowledgements to Loz)

I hope that this is helpful
 
Last edited:
You forgot a couple.
Dont lose you balance and fall backwards
use your free hand to gather up your trousers/shorts or whatever..
If there is a paper basket for loo paper use it and dont flush it down... (Applies to Morocco)
 
You forgot a couple.
Dont lose you balance and fall backwards
use your free hand to gather up your trousers/shorts or whatever..
If there is a paper basket for loo paper use it and dont flush it down... (Applies to Morocco)

Yes, well the balance thing is covered in 5) I think.
I certainly forgot to add the warning about keeping your clothes bunched so they don't droop into the bowl. Important that. I will add that when i do the next update:D
In fact I may be able to add it now.
 
The way our kids & the Mrs viewed it:
1. open door see hole in ground with surrounding puddles
2. rethink previous attitude to portapotti
3. tell everyone else to get out of van
4. pull down blinds
5. use portapotti
 
Try entering a Pissoir on an Autoroute on a sunny day, trips away are all about memories !!
 
The best description I ever heard, when on an Italian cooking course with a couple of typical reserved English girls in the class ... when asking where the loo's were

"go there .... and make like a downhill skier"....... from a Swiss gentleman on the course with us.

Their blushes were brighter than the light on a boudoir of ill repute....
 
I would add, don't, under any circumstances, attempt to use a squatter wearing one piece motorcycle leathers.( or a onesie ).:Stig
 
You missed step zero - open cubicles in turn until you find one where the locals haven't been acting like farmers with a muck spreader.
 
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