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Locking wheel nut - please tell me I'm not going mad!

Unfortunately no. I don't think anybody has produced them yet.
I was thinking maybe the protection plates mounted underneath the vehicle from offroad converters like Seikel and Terranger would offer some hindrance from stealing a DPF, but those sections are left accessible, I assume because of the temperatures they generate.
Or convert to air suspension and park flat on the road like some of the T1 converted flat screen California I saw at Stanford Hall VW (https://stanfordhallvw.com/ very enjoyable)!
 
Or convert to air suspension and park flat on the road like some of the T1 converted flat screen California I saw at Stanford Hall VW (https://stanfordhallvw.com/ very enjoyable)!
No! I have something better: air suspensions with motion sensor located next to PDF.
Park with suspensions on "normal" position, lowering to "flat" when motion sensor triggered, so the scumbags stealing dpfs will get caught trapped under the van!
 
My 18" Springfields might be a bit more attractive, but I struggle to remember hearing a tale of wheels being stolen this Century. I'll keep my locking nuts until I wish I hadn't though, I think.
18"...... my Q7 would have come standard with 18" and it was offensive to look at it. An elephant on rubber roller blades. I had to order 21" to make it bearable. I had 20" for winter tires and it looked $hite, couldn't wait for Spring to come. And I didn't use any locking bolts even though the 21" weren't exactly cheap.
 
I thought most cars now came with locking wheel bolts as standard - my 2017 Caravelle certainly does.
For anyone considering not using such bolts, if they came as standard with the vehicle I would advise careful thought about how this might affect insurance cover.
 
Correct you don't have a locking wheel nut on that wheel
I took mine off because the thought of sitting on the autoroute with an awkward locking nut that had got so tight it wrings the middle out put me off the dam things, always put copper grease on your wheel bolt threads that helps too.
 
a toerag just stole the cat off our '56 Prius - middle of the night, parked on a well-lit fairly main road ...

garage thinks they may get £50 for it, despite it being £1,600 of insurance work to replace (on a £4K car).

I'm keeping a locking wheel nut on my 18" Sportlines but have bought a cheapish breaker bar & higher end socket since attempting wheel changes with standard kit.
 
I have thought that, but also thought "how common is it to have a wheel stolen?" I know it used to happen years ago, before locking wheel nuts were common but does it really happen now?

My main worry is that the hubcaps will be nicked.. they're €100 each to replace

Not very common. Most cars now have alloys fitted as standard so resale value is not great, scrap metal disposal now has tighter controls. + Most modern car alarms will go off during the theft so now more likely to get caught.

Easier for the scum bags to steal a mobile phone, laptop bag etc…far easier to carry with a greater resale value than 4 wheels!

Although airbag theft ! was on the rise during lockdown due to parts shortage.

 
a toerag just stole the cat off our '56 Prius - middle of the night, parked on a well-lit fairly main road ...

garage thinks they may get £50 for it, despite it being £1,600 of insurance work to replace (on a £4K car).

Work colleague had car stolen from his old Nexus 4x4 in London. He replaced with a ‘lookalike’ cat for around £300. (Value of a new fully functioning cat would have exceeded the value of the car, and would have probably been stolen again the next week).
 
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It was all the rage in the 80’s. The amount of MG Meastro and Montegos on wood or brick blocks found in the morning.
80's and 90's were tricky time to keep hold of the any hot hatch never mind the wheels or insurance.
Montego turbos were fast in their day !
 
It's funny, I had my MG Maestro AND My XR2 wheels stolen in the 80s / 90s! Good times! (except the replacement wheel costs)
Good times indeed, seems mad now pay 50% insurance cost for the cali then the Vauxhall cavalier SRI130 I had early 90's. Mine was cheap compared to the guys in Newcastle.
 
80's and 90's were tricky time to keep hold of the any hot hatch never mind the wheels or insurance.
Montego turbos were fast in their day !

Someone stole the drivers door off my mates Montego in 1998 (…it was Brown, non turbo…but very cheap!)
 
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Someone stole the driver door off my mates Montego in 1998 (…it was Brown, non turbo…but very cheap!)
Crikey, tended to take the whole car round our way for either robbery ( ram raiding) or joy riding then burned out.
 
I tried to sell some decent 20” wheels on eBay recently, literally couldn’t even give them away.
 
Took the locking nuts off my Cali after I found one of them cracked. I read something that claimed there is a resurgence in thefts of alloys - said to be by people wanting to put a pristine set of wheels to put on their lease car when they hand it back. I guess that MIGHT be true, but if so they're not going to want the cruddy old wheels off my 7 year old van.
 
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