Ok, after hitting the resurrected thread I said I would update here. Did a bit of reading and thanks to old posts by forum old hands like Loz, WG and Andy, as well as some T6 forums, it's actually simple.
The manual is right, in context. Out of context it feels like you have control over the coolant heater. Unless you flash it and fit the remote, or have the remote control mentioned above, you don't. Consensus is to retro is a bad idea as it drains the starter too much.
There is mention in the manual for a aux coolant heater (parking heater) remote. I never got one nor was it an option and I ticked every box. So my assumption, please correct, is for the MY21 it was not a thing.
I've also finally checked my Ocean, I have both too. The stickers are on the driver door. In my manual they are both std on a Surf and Ocean, 3.5K extra for a Beach (for both).
Some have put it better than me, but I'll paraphrase them here. Note - both heaters are diesel heaters.
Auxiliary Air Heater. Made by Eberspracher. The heater we all know and love. It is actually called the Airtronic M2 and quite a common unit for diesel drip heaters on vans and boats. It's the semi-confusing Heat Immediately/Continuously one with a remote button for your keys. This is great for keeping warm on a night and to heat the cabin via the air heater. It's therefore good for defrosting the van, just hit the remote 30 - 60 mins before you need to drive off.
Auxiliary Coolant Heater. Made by Webasto. I'll call this a "passive" heater as I believe most, if not all of us, has no real control over it. It's called the Thermo Top Evo. It is also widely used to quickly heat cabins in cold temperatures. I'll call it passive here because it looks like VW have installed it as a heat the cabin up quicker option that needs the engine on and temp lower than 5 degrees. You can install it on cars as an active heater - so you can switch it on and it will preheat the interior of the car. Slide 16 on here explains how it works well.
Basically, as far as I can tell, when we get in
AND start the engine, if it is >5 degrees this heater kicks in and provides warm air to the cabin very quickly as well as pre warming the engine, helping emissions and economy. That seems to be it. Unless you have a control I was not able to get. Maybe newer/older Calis than mine, or just Transporters.
This far down I can't remember the resurrection posters actual question, or what they are trying to do, but these are the two heaters and how I can work them out.
If you are in the van and sleeping etc. The Air Heater is your friend. If you are starting it on a cold day and wonder why the air is hot much faster than your normal car, allowing the cabin and windows to defrost faster. The Coolant Heater is your friend.
Happy for any and all corrections.