You've gotta love the German language

True story
When I got posted to West Germany (1984) we had a very young 2nd lieutenant, he had to give us our Blue card briefing (orders for when to open fire)

Instead of stating "halt oder ich schiessen" (halt or I'll fire)
He said "halt oder ich schiezzen" (halt or I'll Poo poo)

He couldn't understand why we fell about laughing
 
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