Happy Things/Thoughts/Videos/Jokes

[Borris]

 

[andyinluton]

We've had some decorators in this week, one of them is a furloughed airline pilot, the lounge isn't too good but the landing was perfect.

 

[Big Ron]

I've been a bit bored today, so reminding myself of past holidays, with plans for more. Some photos I found:View attachment 59619

Both routes take you there.
View attachment 59620
Greek beach
View attachment 59621
Not a bad attempt, I suppose.

Wasn’t sure whether to post this on this thread or the toilet block thread?

 

[flying banana]

i hear the dwarves are struggling to put food on the table

 

[Ch1pbutty]

 

[WelshGas]

With apologies to Monty Python

Nobody expects the Covid Inquisition! Our chief weapon is social distancing...social distancing and clean equipment...clean equipment and social distancing.... our two weapons are social distancing and clean equipment...and good hand hygiene.... Our three weapons are social distancing, clean equipment and good hand hygiene...and an almost fanatical devotion masks.... Our four...no... amongst our weapons.... amongst our weaponry...are such elements as social distancing, clean equipment.... I'll come in again.

 

[Big Ron]

With apologies to Monty Python

Nobody expects the Covid Inquisition! Our chief weapon is social distancing...social distancing and clean equipment...clean equipment and social distancing.... our two weapons are social distancing and clean equipment...and good hand hygiene.... Our three weapons are social distancing, clean equipment and good hand hygiene...and an almost fanatical devotion masks.... Our four...no... amongst our weapons.... amongst our weaponry...are such elements as social distancing, clean equipment.... I'll come in again.

That was really very good WelshGas!

A quick aside..did you know that The Spanish Inquisition used to generally give 30 day Notice for being questioned.....No joke coming, just a strange but not much known fact.

 

[WelshGas]

That was really very good WelshGas!

A quick aside..did you know that The Spanish Inquisition used to generally give 30 day Notice for being questioned.....No joke coming, just a strange but not much known fact.

Can’t take credit for that I’m afraid, but someone in the NHS can.

 

[WelshGas]

Breaking wind in public may be a social taboo, but it's not often that people face financial consequences for it.

But that was the case for one man in Austria, who was fined €500 (£448, $564) after doing so at police in Vienna earlier this month.
The city's police have defended the fine, saying it was for more than that.
"Of course no-one will be reported for accidentally 'letting one go' once," Vienna's police department said on Twitter.
Responding after a photo of the charge sheet - issued for "violating public decency" - was shared on social media, the police department said the suspect "had already behaved in a provocative and unco-operative manner" when he was approached by police in the early hours of 5 June.
He then rose from a park bench, "looked at the officers and apparently intentionally released a massive intestinal wind in the immediate vicinity of the officers".
And, as the suspect found to his own cost, members of the city's police force "prefer not to be farted at".

 

[Romke]

Breaking wind in public may be a social taboo, but it's not often that people face financial consequences for it.
This was the case for one man in Austria, who was fined €500 (£448, $564) after doing so at police in Vienna earlier this month.

There's a name for those Austrian winds:

But that

 

[vmaxkiddy]

Breaking wind in public may be a social taboo, but it's not often that people face financial consequences for it.

But that was the case for one man in Austria, who was fined €500 (£448, $564) after doing so at police in Vienna earlier this month.
The city's police have defended the fine, saying it was for more than that.
"Of course no-one will be reported for accidentally 'letting one go' once," Vienna's police department said on Twitter.
Responding after a photo of the charge sheet - issued for "violating public decency" - was shared on social media, the police department said the suspect "had already behaved in a provocative and unco-operative manner" when he was approached by police in the early hours of 5 June.
He then rose from a park bench, "looked at the officers and apparently intentionally released a massive intestinal wind in the immediate vicinity of the officers".
And, as the suspect found to his own cost, members of the city's police force "prefer not to be farted at".

Did he add that their mother was a hamster and their father smells of old elderberries as he farted in their general direction ?
Monty Python keeps on giving.

 

[Velma's Dad]

There's a name for those Austrian winds:

But that

When I was in the (British) Army in Germany "back in the day", a favourite trick with a newly arrived green second lieutenant was to send them off to do a recce of the village of Umleitung ("...just follow the signs").

Non-German speakers can google that one.

 

[Dave Wickham]

This Covid hysteria reminds me of the panic when War of the Worlds was first broadcast in the US! I have not seen a Martian yet!

 

[T6 CFO]

Mike

 

[Big Ron]

Mike

Maybe they actually did mean that?

 

[clarinetbcn]

This Covid hysteria reminds me of the panic when War of the Worlds was first broadcast in the US! I have not seen a Martian yet!

I congratulate you on your long life! My father remembered that. He would have been 102 this year!
On a more somber note, his family survived the first wave of the 1918-19 flu, but of all his extended family, only he and his father survived the second.

 

[Gary&Heather]

This Covid hysteria reminds me of the panic when War of the Worlds was first broadcast in the US! I have not seen a Martian yet!

I don't think you could call the COVID-19 pandemic hysteria far from it, believe it or not people do you want to live and yes like everyone else we all have to take risks but some risks you can manage.

 

[Dave Wickham]

So a lone driver in a car wearing a mask is not hysteria (and NOT a taxi driver)??? Its certainly not logical behaviour unless they think they can catch it from their steering wheel (or from 5G masts!!!)

 

[Alform]

 

[Dave Wickham]

nice!!

 

[Ting Tong]

Old but still funny and somewhat pertinent:

Camper van creates illusion of freedom

THE purchase of a camper van will not make your life meaningful or free, it has emerged.

www.thedailymash.co.uk

 

[Elly Swanson]

I am not going near Beluga Wales at present.

I have just finished a clinical study into Sarcopenia that involved swallowing a shed load of Krill oil every day.

If one came near me they would think I was a packed lunch

You can’t go near Beluga, Wales at the moment if you’re English. You can only drive 5 miles from the border until lockdown eases.

 

[Elly Swanson]

You can’t go near Beluga, Wales at the moment if you’re English. You can only drive 5 miles from the border until lockdown eases.

If you like that, Karlos, see this https://vwcaliforniaclub.com/threads/antisocial-behaviour-at-the-seaside.35653/post-434926

 

[Ting Tong]

Looks good but I'd be wary of the quality of the wine :

 

[Amarillo]

‘Ah Gavin, please sit down. I’m going to begin your appraisal by looking back over the last few years.’

‘Few years? I’ve only been doing the job for a year.’

‘Yes, but we need to look at your predecessors.’

‘Why? That doesn’t affect how I do my job.’

‘I’m afraid it does. Let’s start with Damian. He didn’t do much to be honest. Basically kept the seat warm for you. Now Justine. We had very high hopes for her. Lots of enthusiasm but she was too friendly with the teachers. Sadly, she had to go. What to say about Nicky? Made the mistake of thinking she could do the job in the same way as the previous minister. No originality. Something you can’t accuse Michael of. Totally overhauled the system. Of course, it did annoy quite a few people - teachers, unions, parents and pupils. Quite a lot to live up to there, eh Gavin?’

‘Yes but I think I’ve managed the last one.’

‘Annoy teachers, unions, parents and pupils? Yes, I think you’ve managed that. But overall, based on all your predecessors, I’m going to have to mark you down.’

‘But that’s not fair? What about the work I’ve done this year?’

‘Doesn’t count for much. You see we have to base your appraisal on how others have done the job.’

‘That makes no sense whatsoever.’

‘No, it doesn’t. Now you know how the year 13 students feel.’