It's finally happened!

[chez786]

as a mother and a cali owner have felt the need to respond. I and ( we ) try very hard to control our kids but sometimes the just dont listen! I have parked badly as am usually in a rush to get to work on time. Unfortunatly it is a reality of modern life everyone has to work. However that said there is no excuse to ignore it. if they marked it I would indeed point it out. They may or may not pay to fix it but at least they have been made aware. I would be embarrassed and at least apologise.
Lastly i work in a school and an adult damaged my cali on Thursday. #notallwayskids

 

[Borris]

I'd definitely say something. I wouldn't let that pass.

But what am I likely to gain from that? She'd almost certainly either try to deny it or accuse me of being petty minded, as it's only a car. Worse still pistols get drawn and things turn messy. Then you can bet your boots it would be round the mums circle before the school bell stops ringing and I'd end up being labelled the brute that unfairly accosted one of their number, making such a fuss about nothing. Anyway, as most of their cars are covered in battle damage, I doubt if I'd receive a sympathetic hearing.

In the remote event that she fesses up, it would be a pyrrhic victory for me. I still have the dent.

 

[LemonDrop]

I'm sorry to say but I think @Borris is right. I think she would probably deny it and act as if you're the one in the wrong...plus it is very difficult to address something like this retrospectively (although I've experienced something similar and addressed it at the time and it turned into a nightmare anyway).

If I were you I'd definitely have the damage repaired. Hopefully it wouldn't be much more than £100 smart repair. Then you could draw a line under it and have your van looking pristine again without the constant reminder of that incident.

One thing you could maybe do, is to phone the school up and tell them that your vehicle was damaged last week by a parent parking badly and in a hurry and that you witnessed it. You could ask if they could please send a reminder out to all parents to allow enough time to park carefully as a vehicle was damaged last week by a parent.

At least them she would feel the heat and know that she was caught out!

Just an idea

 

[Whistler]

If it is anything like our local school there will be a Facebook group of parents. A post along the lines of "you were seen, looking round to see if you had been spotted, have your registration number - please PM to discuss"

They probably won't answer but it will get the school gate mafia thinking who is the door basher.........

Sent from my HUAWEI VNS-L31 using Tapatalk

 

[El Greco]

There's a special place in hell for people like that. I believe that is the European view?

 

[Velma's Dad]

I find the whole school run phenomenon genuinely interesting in light of what is being discovered about the toxicology of air pollution. Sorry for a thread hijack (and Borris I share your Cali-pain).

Like most of us of my age, in the 1960s I walked to school (unaccompanied). In my case, just over a mile each way, in urban west London. Although traffic levels were substantially lower than today, the annual fatality rate among pedestrians was much higher, due I guess to a combination of poorer road design, vehicle safety and driving standards. I can't find any data for numbers of children killed/injured walking to school each year in the 1960s, but in 1979 about 500 child pedestrians were killed - not all on school commutes of course. So there was some risk of walking to school, for sure.

Today most parents would freak out at the notion of a primary-age child walking alone to school (and yes, we did drive our own kids to school, a couple of decades back). Yet, it's now recognised that about half of schoolchildren are exposed to air pollution levels above the WHO-specified safety level, and air pollution in general is contributing to 30,000 UK deaths a year. Much of the dangerous pollution to which children are exposed is generated by... the school run.

I think this is a huge issue, to which most parents have yet to be really sensitised. But the paradox is that one way to protect your kids from air pollution on the way to school is to... drive them there in a car.

 

[Amarillo]

But what am I likely to gain from that. She'd almost certainly either try to deny it or accuse me of being petty minded, as it's only a car. Worse still pistols get drawn and things turn messy. Then you can bet your boots it would be round the mums circle before the school bell stops ringing and I'd end up being labelled the brute that unfairly accosted one of their number, making such a fuss about nothing. Anyway, as most of their cars are covered in battle damage, I doubt if I'd receive a sympathetic hearing.

In the remote event that she fesses up, it would be a pyrrhic victory for me. I still have the dent.

I just don't feel that behaviour like that should go unchallenged. Parents need to take responsibility for the actions of their children.

In Norway Jack (aged 2) took great delight in throwing little gravelly stones at someone's brand new car, scratching the outer coating. I found the owner and explained what had happened. Although annoyed, with good reason, he was very understanding and agreed to a payment for him to buy a little lacquer restoration kit (which in Norway was far more than I expected it could possibly cost). Although neither of us was happy with the outcome, it was, nevertheless, a resolution.

So what you should be seeking is a resolution of sorts whereby the child's mother acknowledges her responsibility, and you feel that she hasn't got away from all responsibility for her daughter's behaviour. A token towards the damage perhaps.

 

[westfalia]

I just don't feel that behaviour like that should go unchallenged. Parents need to take responsibility for the actions of their children.

In Norway Jack (aged 2) took great delight in throwing little gravelly stones at someone's brand new car, scratching the outer coating. I found the owner and explained what had happened. Although annoyed, with good reason, he was very understanding and agreed to a payment for him to buy a little lacquer restoration kit (which in Norway was far more than I expected it could possibly cost). Although neither of us was happy with the outcome, it was, nevertheless, a resolution.

So what you should be seeking is a resolution of sorts whereby the child's mother acknowledges her responsibility, and you feel that she hasn't got away from all responsibility for her daughter's behaviour. A token towards the damage perhaps.

Thats all well and good, but Borris is doing the right thing to let it go,
he missed the chance to confront the offender and to try and bring it up later
could cause problems and then you get the kids in school having problems because
of it.
Although, if it was the other way around and Borris´ tailgate hit her banger then that
could be a completely different scenario with her tattooed scaffolder hubby knocking
on Borris´s door half coked up demanding 500 quid.

Nah, Borris is doing the right thing. You live and learn and all that.
Personal liability insurance is not uncommon in germany, in fact most people have
it and it covers all events like this, the children are covered through the parents,
I'm surprised you didn´t have it in norway, it could've saved you a few quid.

 

[Amarillo]

Thats all well and good, but Borris is doing the right thing to let it go,
he missed the chance to confront the offender and to try and bring it up later
could cause problems and then you get the kids in school having problems because
of it.
Although, if it was the other way around and Borris´ tailgate hit her banger then that
could be a completely different scenario with her tattooed scaffolder hubby knocking
on Borris´s door half coked up demanding 500 quid.

Nah, Borris is doing the right thing. You live and learn and all that.
Personal liability insurance is not uncommon in germany, in fact most people have
it and it covers all events like this, the children are covered through the parents,
I'm surprised you didn´t have it in norway, it could've saved you a few quid.

I didn’t even consider if we had public liability insurance.

I know I had it before our trip away - attached to home insurance, and I know that we have it now. I also know that we took out a year long travel insurance policy, but what it covered I know not, apart from repatriation costs up to several million.

 

[LemonDrop]

I just don't feel that behaviour like that should go unchallenged. Parents need to take responsibility for the actions of their children.

In Norway Jack (aged 2) took great delight in throwing little gravelly stones at someone's brand new car, scratching the outer coating. I found the owner and explained what had happened. Although annoyed, with good reason, he was very understanding and agreed to a payment for him to buy a little lacquer restoration kit (which in Norway was far more than I expected it could possibly cost). Although neither of us was happy with the outcome, it was, nevertheless, a resolution.

So what you should be seeking is a resolution of sorts whereby the child's mother acknowledges her responsibility, and you feel that she hasn't got away from all responsibility for her daughter's behaviour. A token towards the damage perhaps.

@Amarillo I think it is great that you addressed it directly and agree with you 100% that she should acknowledge responsibility - but sadly a lot of people just don't care. I have had various issues over the years (which I won't bore you with) along these lines and each and every time the "offender" has been rude/denied it/tried to get away with it/tried to make out I was being unreasonable and I think that nothing good would come of trying to get a resolution. She nailed her colours to the mast when she looked around to see if anyone saw and DIDN'T leave a note on @Borris's Cali. Maybe I'm being cynical but I just wouldn't go there.

 

[westfalia]

I didn’t even consider if we had public liability insurance.

I know I had it before our trip away - attached to home insurance, and I know that we have it now.

Shame on you amarillo, attaching it to home insurance would not be the real deal.
Here's a rough idea of how its done here.

How to choose liability insurance in Germany

What liability insurance covers, why you must have it, and how to pick the best German liability insurance.

allaboutberlin.com

 

[Borris]

I'm sorry to say but I think @Borris is right. I think she would probably deny it and act as if you're the one in the wrong...plus it is very difficult to address something like this retrospectively (although I've experienced something similar and addressed it at the time and it turned into a nightmare anyway).

If I were you I'd definitely have the damage repaired. Hopefully it wouldn't be much more than £100 smart repair. Then you could draw a line under it and have your van looking pristine again without the constant reminder of that incident.

One thing you could maybe do, is to phone the school up and tell them that your vehicle was damaged last week by a parent parking badly and in a hurry and that you witnessed it. You could ask if they could please send a reminder out to all parents to allow enough time to park carefully as a vehicle was damaged last week by a parent.

At least them she would feel the heat and know that she was caught out!

Just an idea

I will have the damage repaired and I wont be taking any further action. I agree, these things need to be dealt with at the time and unfortunately that wasn't possible in this instance.

I could contact the school as you have suggested but even if they message all parents I doubt if it would have much effect long term.

This whole parking issue was exacerbated recently when the school stopped parents parking in the school parking area within the school grounds. Large electric security gates were erected at great expense to stop both pedestrians and vehicles from entering. A pointless exercise as children's safety was never an issue. They are not allowed in that area during school time and are kept behind a high wooden fence with access only possible throught the main school office entrance via electronic security doors. Now all vehicles have to park in the adjacent small village hall car park accessed via a narrow single track lane. It's a complete parking free for all twice a day with available spaces hotly contested. Accordingly, having kicked everyone out, I suspect they wouldn't consider parking outside of school grounds to be a school matter.

 

[Amarillo]

You should see the daily carnage outside Ben and Jack's school - twice a day. Not helped by Lewisham's policy of encouraging parking on the footway by painting broken white lines. But my biggest beef is reserved for the ice cream van outside the nursery entrance, blasting toxic fumes up the nostrils of 3 and 4 year olds, as they innocently plead with their parents to encourage their poisoning by paying for its frozen treats.

 

[oryx white]

I will have the damage repaired and I wont be taking any further action. I agree, these things need to be dealt with at the time and unfortunately that wasn't possible in this instance.

I could contact the school as you have suggested but even if they message all parents I doubt if it would have much effect long term.

This whole parking issue was exacerbated recently when the school stopped parents parking in the school parking area within the school grounds. Large electric security gates were erected at great expense to stop both pedestrians and vehicles from entering. A pointless exercise as children's safety was never an issue. They are not allowed in that area during school time and are kept behind a high wooden fence with access only possible throught the main school office entrance via electronic security doors. Now all vehicles have to park in the adjacent small village hall car park accessed via a narrow single track lane. It's a complete parking free for all twice a day with available spaces hotly contested. Accordingly, having kicked everyone out, I suspect they wouldn't consider parking outside of school grounds to be a school matter.

Ah. That (the gates, I mean) is in compliance with what the DfE call 'Safeguarding'. Ask any school head and watch the colour drain from their face.

 

[Pips Dad]

For more than three years I've been parking our Cali outside our grandchildren's primary school whilst I both drop off and pick them up. In all of that time I have adopted the best defensive parking position to reduce the risk of dents from other vehicles.

Incidentally, the standards of driving that some of these mums adopt when arriving and leaving is frightening. That's not intended to be a sexist comment. It's just that almost all of those dropping off kids are women and most of them are mums who always seem to be in a screaming hurry.

Today I was parked in a single space where the only way another car could park near was at right angles accross the rear. I had parked well forward in my space just incase someone, parked in the space behind, threw a door open wide. Unfortunately that is just what happened, when a small child smacked the back door of mum's old banger into my pristine tailgate. It shouldn't have been near enough to touch but due to her poor parking it brought it into range. The result is a small dent right on the lower crease line of the tailgate with some paint removed.

I actually saw it happen as I was returning to the vehicle. The mum concerned realised what had happened and grabbed the door to pull it away from the tailgate whilst looking around to see if anyone had noticed. She then got in her car and drove off.

Yes I know, it's one of those annoying but minor things that happens in life and it isn't a big issue in the big scheme of things but the question is what would you do next?

1. Take it on the chin and either except the dent as a permanent feature or have it repaired at your own expense?

2. As in 1 above but let the mum know that you know it was her little darling that had done it and that you had witnessed her behaviour?

Having been in this situation before I see very little to be gained from adopting option 2. On that previous occasion, a seemingly sweet little old granny let rip with a torrent of expletives when I showed her the damage she had just caused to my then brand new Golf, by opening a door into it after having just "parked" half way up a bank! She swore blind that I was just out to get her to pay for damage caused by someone else even though paint from her car was clearly present on mine and her door, when opened, lined up perfectly with the damage.
Also knowing the tight knit circles that these chattering mums move it, I'd probably not be doing myself any favours, especially if things turned nasty.

I suppose this thread is really an excercise in blowing off steam. I'm just more than a tad miffed at having my vehicle damaged. I don't blame the child as school children of this age group often don't have the strength or motor skills to control a car door. However I do blame the mother who parked badly, failed to control her child opening the door and then knowing what her offspring had done, drove off leaving me to either grit my teeth every time I see that dent or fork out for the repairs.

There, rant over.

I totally sympathise with you. The dent would annoy me as every time I looked at the vehicle, my eyes would be drawn to the dent. Yes I am a bit nerdy about the condition of my vehicles and try to keep the in a pristine condition bt hey, that how I am! The are a very expensive item after all and why would you not want to preserve its appearance?
I recently parked in a hospital car park and a car pulled into the space at the side of me. The gap was around 18 inches and it would have been impossible to open the door without a ding. I quickly got out and told the lady to hang on whilst I backed out of the situation and she said what’s your problem? She looked at me as though I was something she had picked up on her she shoe. I tried to be diplomatic and pointed out that it would not be possible for her to get out of her car without marking my Cali but she didn’t seem at all interested or concerned. With this sort of attitude it’s easy to see why these type of incidents happen by morons who couldn’t care a ...it!

 

[Borris]

Ah. That (the gates, I mean) is in compliance with what the DfE call 'Safeguarding'. Ask any school head and watch the colour drain from their face.

The question is, who or what is being safeguarded? I suspect that it's more to do with the authorities being covered against litigation. If, as a teacher recently told me, the new gates are there because they are concerned about the safety of the children, then why have they shoved the issue outside of the school gates where they have made the parking issue tens times worse and in doing so heightened the risk to the children being picked up and dropped off. And don't get me wrong, if I really thought that it was an effective safeguard against children being injured, I would be fully behind it.

On a second note, I find it amazing that they are able to find tens of thousands of pounds to turn a lovely village school into a mini Parkhurst, when education budgets are so tight.

 

[Amarillo]

On a second note, I find it amazing that they are able to find tens of thousands of pounds to turn a lovely village school into a mini Parkhurst, when education budgets are so tight.

I think that it is a cumulative consequence of the Dunblane school massacre, the Beslan School Siege and more recent extremist actions such as the Manchester Arena Bomb Attack. Can you imagine the horrors of extremists capturing a whole school assembly in a British school. Village schools could be a particularly easy target.

The safeguarding of individual children against neglect or abuse is important enough, but the safeguarding of a whole school against a terror attack and potential massacre is on a wholly different scale.

 

[BikerGran]

This sort of damage is a very good reason for keeping a camera in your van - which of course most of us do, in the form of a mobile phone. Hard to argue with photographic evidence.

 

[Lightning]

I think that it is a cumulative consequence of the Dunblane school massacre, the Beslan School Siege and more recent extremist actions such as the Manchester Arena Bomb Attack. Can you imagine the horrors of extremists capturing a whole school assembly in a British school. Village schools could be a particularly easy target.

The safeguarding of individual children against neglect or abuse is important enough, but the safeguarding of a whole school against a terror attack and potential massacre is on a wholly different scale.

Don’t all these measures put in place to protect us from terrorism, actually slowly erode our freedom? The probability is very low although the consequence is very high.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[Borris]

Don’t all these measures put in place to protect us from terrorism, actually slowly erode our freedom? The probability is very low although the consequence is very high.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Years ago I remember attending a regional Crime and Disorder seminar. At that time I was responsible, amongst other things for the Fire and Rescue Service's response to all manner of naughtiness within several District Council areas. At this seminar was a chap who gave a presentation on a new design for a primary school in the Liverpool area. This design featured a high wire fence all around the school grounds with anti intrusion measures on the top. The school grounds were accessed via electronic security gates operated from the office with the aid of CCTV. The windows were armoured glass with sloping window ledges to stop climbing. The building plan was square with no external places to hide from the CCTV cameras which covered all areas of the grounds. There was also flood lighting. As an exercise in keeping the kids safe from person or persons unknown it couldn't be faulted but as a place for small children to spend their first formative years in education it was truely awful. Whilst it may have been a necessary design for that particular location, if you were trying to design a maximum security prison this would be more or less what you'd end up with.

There are thousands of primary schools in Britain, so I too ask myself is this move towards encasing them behind in high security measures really necessary or justifiable?

We digress, this thread started with a small dent!

 

[Borris]

Update: I went to two body shops this morning to get quotes. One was a one man band independent and the other an authorised VW/VAG group repair centre.

Here's the damage:


Now guess how much to put it back to as it was before little Johny threw open his mum's car door into it?

Sorry about the quality of the photo. Dents are difficult to photograph.

 

[ArunAlec]

Update: I went to two body shops this morning to get quotes. One was a one man band independent and the other an authorised VW/VAG group repair centre.

Here's the damage:
View attachment 46506

Now guess how much to put it back to as it was before little Johny threw open his mum's car door into it?

Sorry about the quality of the photo. Dents are difficult to photograph.

Vw... £1000?
Independent ...... £250?

 

[ArunAlec]

Looking at the photo I’d be inclined to live with it, time heals!

 

[oryx white]

I'd try Will Eyles at Dent Technics Ltd on 07588 082082. But as it's on the crease, may be trickier ...

 

[Amarillo]

Looking at the photo I’d be inclined to live with it, time heals!

Agree. I have a dent on the front wheel arch of Amarillo - I rather like it! Everytime I look at it I recall that moment in a car park in Sicily, with the stop/start stopped, and needing to close the sliding door. No handbrake on, vehicle in drive, I opened the door, foot off brake and leapt out of the van taking my foot off the brake. Boink, wheel arch straight into a wooden post.

As with humans, it is our imperfections that make us different. Same with cars.