Happy Things/Thoughts/Videos/Jokes

OGII · Nov 15, 2021

The Pox said:
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go on a camping trip in their brand new California Ocean. (They had ordered it back in 1892).

After eating their dinner around the slide-out table they retire to the upper bed to go to sleep. A few hours later Sherlock wakes up.

“Watson, are you awake?” He asks.

“Yes, sir. What is it?” Answers Watson.

“Look up and tell me what you see.” Asks Holmes.

“I see billions of stars,” says Watson.

“And what does that tell you Watson,” asks Holmes.

“Well,” says Dr Watson, “Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.”

“Why? – What does it tell you, Holmes?”

Holmes is quiet for a moment then says: “It tells me that someone has stolen our Pop Top.”

Elementary. Roof corrosion.

The Pox · Nov 16, 2021

A dog goes into a VW dealer and buys a California Ocean. The sales assistant says, “You don’t see a dog in here buying a Cali very often.”

The dog says, “At these prices, I’m not surprised!”

WelshGas · Nov 17, 2021

Free Campervan for pickup. But there is a catch.

Australia outback rescue: Family safe after stranded for four days

The couple and two children became stranded when their campervan got bogged in mud.

www.bbc.co.uk

The Pox · Nov 17, 2021

A husband and wife were driving in their Cali through Wales. As they approached their campsite, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town. They continued to argue back and forth as they stopped for lunch.

At the counter, the husband asked the waitress, “Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce where we are very slowly?”

She leaned over the counter and said, “Burrr-gerrr Kiiing.”

Ch1pbutty · Nov 20, 2021

WelshGas · Nov 20, 2021

Ch1pbutty said:
View attachment 86852

We still do around here.

The Pox · Nov 21, 2021

I want to hang a map of Scotland in my house. Then I’m going to put pins into all the locations that I’ve travelled to on the NC500 in my Cali. But first, I’m going to have to travel to the top two corners of the map, so it won’t fall off the wall...

Amarillo · Nov 23, 2021

I think what this newspaper article is saying, without really saying it, is, “men fart 40% than women”.

Men’s meat-heavy diets cause 40% more climate emissions than women’s, study finds | Meat | The Guardian

Research also shows 25% of diet-related emissions are from ‘optional’ food and drinks, such as coffee, alcohol and cake

amp.theguardian.com

Any real-life observations!?

GrumpyGranddad · Nov 23, 2021

Amarillo said:
I think what this newspaper article is saying, without really saying it, is, “men fart 40% than women”.

Men’s meat-heavy diets cause 40% more climate emissions than women’s, study finds | Meat | The Guardian

Research also shows 25% of diet-related emissions are from ‘optional’ food and drinks, such as coffee, alcohol and cake

amp.theguardian.com

Any real-life observations!?

I’d say that pulses are worse.

Perfectos · Nov 23, 2021

Women don’t Fart, they perfume the air

Auberg-ine · Nov 29, 2021

Brussels, last Friday:

Guessing who brought picnic.

Velma's Dad · Nov 29, 2021

That's almost Magrittian.

Ch1pbutty · Nov 30, 2021

The Pox · Nov 30, 2021

Four forum members spend weeks planning a California Club Meet.

Two days before the group is to leave Rob’s wife puts her foot down and tells him he isn’t going.

Rob’s friends are very upset that he can’t go, but what can they do?

Two days later the three get to the camp site in their Calis only to find Rob sitting there all set up, pop top up, awning out, table and deck chairs arranged and supper cooking on two burner hob. Not to mention the chilled wine fresh from the fridge.

“Bloody hell man, how long you been here and how did you talk your wife into letting you go?”

“Well, I’ve been here since yesterday. Yesterday evening I was sitting in my chair and my wife came up behind me and put her hands over my eyes and said ‘guess who’?” I pulled her hands off and she was wearing a brand new see-through nightie. She took my hand and took me to our bedroom. The room had two dozen candles and rose pedals all over. She had on the bed, cable ties and gaffer tape! She told me to tie her to the bed and I did. And then she said, “now, you can do whatever you want…”

So here I am.