Smuggling

[larrylamb]

Easy , just print off some french labels for all your fridge contents to convince Monsieur Plod.

 

[The Merle]

Easy , just print off some french labels for all your fridge contents to convince Monsieur Plod.

@larrylamb loving the new profile pic, blimey lockdown was tough on you and haircut/shaving though

 

[Bartleby]

The problem now with taking your dog abroad is that you can't take their food. I'd rather smuggle it than deal with suddenly swapping dog food and the subsequent tummy upset in a confined space .

 

[Ting Tong]

Hide stuff in the void behind the camping table in the door as they’ll have the door open and will never see it.

 

[Amarillo]

Hide stuff in the void behind the camping table in the door as they’ll have the door open and will never see it.

That space appears to have been specifically designed for smuggling. How many sausages do you think you’d be able to get from the mainland into Northern Ireland behind that table?

 

[stephen watson]

I'm more interested in "smuggling" wine back to the UK. We always try to bring a years worth of wine back for personal consumption from France each summer. Even if that was only a bottle a week, it's quite a lot. I think you can now bring back 24 bottles before paying duty. I'm wondering how strictly this is going to be enforced and whether it's worth the risk of bringing back more? Personally I don't think it's worth trying to hide it or lie, but I'm wondering about just driving through the green channel. Any thoughts anyone?

 

[andyinluton]

Do you travel alone? It is 24 (18 litres) per person, not per van.

I wouldn’t risk exceeding the limits as you end up paying the duty on the whole lot not just the amount you are over.

 

[Amarillo]

In 1976 I recall returning from France with my parents and three brothers (all U18). My parents were about 50% over the limit. They went through the red channel and explained how much over they were. The customs officer looked at the four boys on the long bench seat in the rear and said “They count as an extra allowance” and waved us on our way.

 

[Ian789]

Went to a beach in Fuerteventura once - never seen so much German salami in my life

Salami or chipolatas?

 

[CamperFam]

Just put a portapotty box in your cupboard and hide the food in there - no one will want to root around in there to search for pastries and salami.

 

[Ting Tong]

I seem to remember my Dad cleaning and filling the windscreen washer bottle on his Rover P6 3500S with Fundador Reserva brandy back in about 1975.

When I used to smoke, I got caught with excess cigarettes coming back from China and they confiscated the lot not just the amount I was over. I think I’m on their black list now.

Can you close the roof if you lie bottles sideways on the bed?…asking for a friend.

 

[Amarillo]

Can you close the roof if you lie bottles sideways on the bed?…asking for a friend.

Yes - but you get a bottle shaped inverted dent in the roof.

 

[larrylamb]

Yes - but you get a bottle shaped inverted dent in the roof.

Potentially 100 packs of cheddar plus 2000 sausages up there no problem.

 

[WelshGas]

I seem to remember my Dad cleaning and filling the windscreen washer bottle on his Rover P6 3500S with Fundador Reserva brandy back in about 1975.

When I used to smoke, I got caught with excess cigarettes coming back from China and they confiscated the lot not just the amount I was over. I think I’m on their black list now.

Can you close the roof if you lie bottles sideways on the bed?…asking for a friend.

A brandy Flask type bottle or 2 in Centre lying Fore/aft , Yes.

 

[Scoobz1]

Read something wrong - early morning tea not working - deleted so as not to further confuse

 

[Wongo]

You can forfeit the vehicle if you smuggle.

 

[Lightning]

The problem now with taking your dog abroad is that you can't take their food. I'd rather smuggle it than deal with suddenly swapping dog food and the subsequent tummy upset in a confined space .

This seems appropriate Khama for all dog owners that voted for this.

 

[Ozzy Pete]

I seem to remember my Dad cleaning and filling the windscreen washer bottle on his Rover P6 3500S with Fundador Reserva brandy back in about 1975.

When I used to smoke, I got caught with excess cigarettes coming back from China and they confiscated the lot not just the amount I was over. I think I’m on their black list now.

Can you close the roof if you lie bottles sideways on the bed?…asking for a friend.

Tell your “Friend” no you can’t put anything in the roof. I’ve tried a folded summer duvet and even that won’t allow the roof to fully go down. .What you could do sorry what your “ friend “ could do is buy 30 Ltrs of brandy and pour it into the water tank. And if that’s Not enough then another 30 ltrs in the waste tank. That should keep your “friend” going till the next trip...

 

[Amarillo]

Tell your “Friend” no you can’t put anything in the roof. I’ve tried a folded summer duvet and even that won’t allow the roof to fully go down. .What you could do sorry what your “ friend “ could do is buy 30 Ltrs of brandy and pour it into the water tank. And if that’s Not enough then another 30 ltrs in the waste tank. That should keep your “friend” going till the next trip...

I wonder if there would be a market for a 70L bladder insert for an 80L fuel tank?

 

[jimmywease]

Hide stuff in the void behind the camping table in the door as they’ll have the door open and will never see it.

They might just relish proving their knowledge, by squatting inside the van and removing the table.

They certainly showed their knowledge back in the day, when I hid my excess fags behind the rear seat in my 1986 Skoda 130 Rapid. First surprise was that they correctly tapped on the bonnet and asked to see the luggage. Second surprise was them asking how many cigarettes I’d hidden in what I thought was a secret compartment!

They let me off the excessive quantities though - satisfied with my red face.

 

[Amarillo]

They might just relish proving their knowledge, by squatting inside the van and removing the table.

They certainly showed their knowledge back in the day, when I hid my excess fags behind the rear seat in my 1986 Skoda 130 Rapid. First surprise was that they correctly tapped on the bonnet and asked to see the luggage. Second surprise was them asking how many cigarettes I’d hidden in what I thought was a secret compartment!

They let me off the excessive quantities though - satisfied with my red face.

Completely off topic, I know, but was a 1986 Skoda 130 Rapid?

I recall being endlessly stuck behind motorhomes in Norway’s mountain roads with either “Rapid” or “Swift” on the back and pondered endlessly if I could get the manufacturers charged under the trade descriptions act.

 

[jimmywease]

Completely off topic, I know, but was a 1986 Skoda 130 Rapid?

I recall being endlessly stuck behind motorhomes in Norway’s mountain roads with either “Rapid” or “Swift” on the back and pondered endlessly if I could get the manufacturers charged under the trade descriptions act.

Yes, it was very rapid. And a true classic. 26yrs old when I bought it, with 26,000 miles on the clock. It would surge off the lights (rear-engined) and lay waste to most of Ashford’s boy-racers. Until the head-gasket went. Still the best £110 I ever spent!

 

[jimmywease]

What a thing of beauty!

 

[andyinluton]

Tell your “Friend” no you can’t put anything in the roof. I’ve tried a folded summer duvet and even that won’t allow the roof to fully go down. .What you could do sorry what your “ friend “ could do is buy 30 Ltrs of brandy and pour it into the water tank. And if that’s Not enough then another 30 ltrs in the waste tank. That should keep your “friend” going till the next trip...

There is however quite a bit of space under the wooden slats on the upper roof. Its a bit of a pain getting anything back out from under there.

 

[bob_summers]

I would be smuggling the other way - when I’m in the UK i’ll usually bring a pallet of my hometown brewery’s fayre back. But i’m too clumsy to pull it off. I got caught trying to put posh bread through the self scanner as the cheapest one at the supermarket last week!