PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE

[GrannyJen]

No more arguments.

Thank you MattBW for your message informing me of the rancour that has erupted. You really made my day. I was in the radiology waiting room preparing to be blasted by some isotope or other when I risked life and I-Pad to log in to my email and you really cheered me up

When I left this forum I think my final words were please welcome back Matt, he has a lot to offer, the past is past, lets move on. Can I ask everyone to please respect that. No further rancour.

I am not surprised there is rancour. I respected Matt’s apology but had warned others in the moderation team what the forum reaction was likely to be on his return. Me being abused and vilified in another forum was nothing compared to the way this forum was treated and it is this forum that deserves an apology, not me. I took the decision that I could no longer be active in this forum as much out of cowardice of not wanting to be involved in it as anything else.

What also has happened was my own feeling of a glass jar being shattered. My own particular Nirvana broken. Everything in forums that I wanted to escape from was here. We had a laugh, we respected each other, we were a community revelling in our lifestyle, we shared happy memories and the joy of our adventures together. I was chuffed to the moon and back when one member said she let her daughter read my posts because they were so much fun. Very little griping, moaning, whingeing and abrasive back-biting. As much respect for the battered T4 self-build as for the SE with all the trimmings. As much respect for the mechanically hapless granny as for the butch he-man with his bag of spanners and hammers.

However I saw all the bitching of the past coming back and I do not want to be part of it. I have suffered much heartache in the past trying to repair glass jars and I do not want more.

I have always lived with forums that had clear rules and there has to be a final sanction. The very last one, when warnings and bans are not enough, when someone still fails to respect a time-out, a yellow card, a pause in membership and continues to create disharmony by other means. There has to be a final sanction or there is anarchy and that final sanction can only ever be cancellation of membership, full stop. Without that you might as well put a sign over the door saying “no moderation here, no respect for anyone here.”

On was not one in place this time, and in full fairness to Matt one cannot be retrospectively applied. I hope upon hope for this forum that one is put in place, at the bottom of a set of light-touch rules, that everyone knows that they sign up to when becoming a member of this forum. Then we avoid all this unpleasantness,

Now I’m going off to be sick for reasons that I am sure WelshGas can explain.

 

[David Eccles]

I amongst many will miss your posts. I hardly go on any forums these days ...

 

[calikev]

Thanks for clearing that up jen. We do have rules but to be honest this is the first time they have been tested. we try and run a friendly forum long may it continue

 

[rich-s]

Me too

Get well soon.

 

[BerndRos]

Get back here GJ...you know it's been a good part of your weekly life.

 

[Skylark2.0]

Good luck Granny Jen.
We'll cross everything

 

[Alan]

when I read your first couple of posts on here I knew you would be a hit on this forum
You will be missed
Good luck with your new California Ocean Granny Jen,and hope Albert goes to a good home!

Hoping this post tuns out to be irrelevant

Alan

 

[larrylamb]

Get well soon Jen

 

[Kyffinjones]

I hope things go well for you, Jen. It was reading your posts that made me decide to join the Forum. I do hope you'll be back ......

 

[pjm-84]

"Reading between the lines" I wish you all the best and a big get well soon.

 

[GrannyJen]

Thank you for the good thoughts.

I am not stricken with something terribly serious, but every so often a lump appears that needs sometimes a well directed jab with a surgeons scalpel to control and even more occasionally exposure to something resembling a contained chernobyl.

I am personally quite grateful for every effort made on my behalf to lose weight

 

[WelshGas]

Ah, those were the days Gastric Stapling and Apronectomies 6 months later.

Get well soon - you are much missed and appreciated on this Forum - or are you back already?

If so " Phewwwwww".

 

[Ambler]

Jen

If this thread proves anything it is that you should step down as a moderator. Your character is not suited to the role. Yes, stay on and keep the informative and funny posts coming.

Martin and Co have been big enough to admit they made a mistake and hav rectified it. Can we please close this and the other related threads and get back to talking about Cali's instead of personalities.

 

[Meoncoast]

Can we please close this and the other related threads and get back to talking about Cali's instead of personalities.

+1 for this x 10

 

[CaliWidow]

Jen


Martin and Co have been big enough to admit they made a mistake and hav rectified it. Can we please close this and the other related threads and get back to talking about Cali's instead of personalities.

You don't have to read it. What you are advocating is called censorship. These threads close themselves down when no one else posts so don't censor those who may want their say.

 

[Ambler]

It's not censorship. It's my opinion and it is just as relevant as yours.

The mods had a discussion which included Jen and it was decided to allow the banned member back.
By her own admission she did not object. So why start all this?

After that Jen should have posted absolutely nothing about this matter. Any queries from members about the decision should have been answered by Martin only. The culprit would almost certainly have transgressed again and been banned forever.

 

[GrannyJen]

Jen

If this thread proves anything it is that you should step down as a moderator. Your character is not suited to the role. Yes, stay on and keep the informative and funny posts coming.

Martin and Co have been big enough to admit they made a mistake and hav rectified it. Can we please close this and the other related threads and get back to talking about Cali's instead of personalities.

You may recall that I did step down as moderator and it caused such a furore I reluctantly stepped back in again to calm the place down. I have been moderating forums for 20 years and the last thing I need in my life right now is to be the centre of another bout of rancour, hence my decision to leave the forum.

I came back to this forum after a message to say the amount of discontent fermenting needed intervention so I have intervened, to attempt to do what you would like to see done, all these rancorous threads finished and the forum move on back to being the fun place it rightly should be.

Let me make it quite clear. I want this thread and all the other threads relating to the forum spat with another member to be over.

Let me also hijack this reply to make it clear that Admin, moderators, everyone else, were not responsible for the return of a member that clearly a voluble body of people in this forum felt was a mistake.

The mistake was mine, almost solely mine. I could have exercised a sanction over the decision but for reasons of integrity I stepped back from that decision making.

Martin quite honourably offered me a veto but for the same reasons I would not exercise it.

When it was clear that there was a body of opinion moving towards lifting the ban on that member I gave my blessing to it, with reservations, and was possibly also one of the first people to welcome that member back having accepted his apology.

That member has now gone, something that I personally am sad about, not because I think it was right or wrong, or that he was once a friend and may continue to be. I am sad when any member leaves through acrimonious circumstances.

My very First, and my very last, public moderating decision apart from tidying a few threads up were to close a thread where he was being roundly set upon and had no right of reply to due to a ban being put in place by admin, a decision that I recall you were condemnatory about but I stand by it . I will never be party to someone taking abuse when they have no right of reply.

Now, I have other things in my life to worry about than this forum for not only do I have my own appointments with death by chernobyl but also a 12 month old grandson rushed into hospital late last night with breathing difficulties.

I wish this forum well. Martin and Kev are two of the most decent and most honourable people I have been associated with as a forum member and then moderator and I think that they have created a forum that rightly gives a lot of joy and a sense of fun to many.

Whether I stay or go, whether that other member returns or stays away, whether the moon is or is not made of green cheese is irrelevant to thanking Martin and Kev what they have achieved with this forum so please, to repeat what I came back to say, get this forum back to being full of fun and empty of rancour.

Thank you all and goodnight.

 

[GrannyJen]

It's not censorship. It's my opinion and it is just as relevant as yours.

The mods had a discussion which included Jen and it was decided to allow the banned member back.
By her own admission she did not object. So why start all this?

After that Jen should have posted absolutely nothing about this matter. Any queries from members about the decision should have been answered by Martin only. The culprit would almost certainly have transgressed again and been banned forever.

I did post nothing.

I felt a post of mine had been made to disappear and was angry about it. I was wrong. Time to put everything to bed and say goodbye.

I started "this", Presumably this thread, because having gone I then received a message to say that a large body of people were upset about that members return and were blaming the forum owners for allowing it and apparently causing me to leave. I therefore came back to this forum to set the record straight, which as Kev has acknowledged, hopefully I have so can quietly go again.

 

[larrylamb]

Amen Jen, lets all draw a line under this unsavoury topic and talk about Cali camping.

 

[rich-s]

Amen Jen, lets all draw a line under this unsavoury topic and talk about Cali camping.

Agreed. The forum should move on and respect Jen's privacy. Hopefully she may return one day, but for now we do need to put this whole debacle to bed.

 

[GrannyJen]

Get back here GJ...you know it's been a good part of your weekly life.

It's stars like you that I will never forget xxx

 

[GrannyJen]

Ah, those were the days Gastric Stapling and Apronectomies 6 months later.

Get well soon - you are much missed and appreciated on this Forum - or are you back already?

If so " Phewwwwww".

Paul

I am feeling quite bruised and battered by some of the comments in this forum.

Some people seem to so hate moderators in a forum that they will snipe and snarl at the most benign moderator intervention.

I am sick to death at being the lightning rod for that, and sick to death of the on-going squabble over what should really be a clear cut admin decision.

All I want to do is put it all behind, see my grandson get well, escape from my appointments with chernobyl, pack Albert up and decide what I want my involvement in this forum to be.

I would not be human if I did not say I feel quite weary of the whole damned saga, but can you keep an old tart down? I doubt it

 

[Isa Neal]

Hiya please don't feel bruised and battered, I for one appreciate your input hugely and would love to see you carry on when ever you can. Hope your grandson is better tomorrow and tell Chernobyl you're a prize fighter of good English stock and he -Chernobyl should beware.

 

[Noeleen]

Long live GrannyJen . . . . you are our hero . . . "legend", as we say over here!

We need you for all the practical advice, and the craic.

 

[GrannyJen]

Hiya please don't feel bruised and battered, I for one appreciate your input hugely and would love to see you carry on when ever you can. Hope your grandson is better tomorrow and tell Chernobyl you're a prize fighter of good English stock and he -Chernobyl should beware.

Thank you so much Izzy.

The whole forum has been battered, but it will come through stronger,

and for goodness sake lets have fun and talk about fun....

Albert is feeling distinctly neglected ...